


Tom's Communist House Party

by paranormalnerd



Series: Self-Destruction And Cuddle Piles [4]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Chloe stop encouraging me to do this shit, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Just Pure Ridiculousness, M/M, Memes are mentioned, Tom & Tord - Freeform, Tom secretly enjoys anime, Tord needs to calm tf down with his coffee intake, Wow! Its NOT angsty!, edds a lil shit, tord reads hentai to his guns for a bed time story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:05:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8498185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranormalnerd/pseuds/paranormalnerd
Summary: purely crack and roommate hijinks





	

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Chloe
> 
> TW// cursing
> 
> **Chloe is my irl friend (and Beta Reader) that keeps spitballing fanfiction ideas at me during lunch. I still have two more stories to write

  


In Tom’s defense, this was Edd’s idea. There were no available rooms on the trio’s floor in the apartment building, leaving Tord with nowhere to go. Technically, he could have, and happily would’ve, moved into a different floor in the apartment, but that was a layer of trust the four had not yet achieved. 

  


Edd, the brilliant dick, owned the second biggest apartment out of the three of them, (Matt’s was the biggest, his place having two guest rooms, a large living room, and a decent sized kitchen, but almost everyone was uncomfortable surrounded by his monuments to himself, and almost every inch of the place was covered in either novelty toys, or just pure junk.) but had  _ innocently  _ decided that since Tom and Tord got along the least, it would be “beneficial” for them to room.

  


Tom had very politely expressed his opinions about the idea, saying it was “some sort of cliche slowburn fanfiction bullshit”.  In all honesty, it kind of was.

  


__

  


“Tord what the actual fuck?”

  


Tord, was surrounded by twelve different types of assault guns, all varying in shape and size on the couch. Watching anime.

  


The Norwegian didn’t look away from the television, instead opting to hug a sniper rifle sitting in his lap, petting it tenderly. “I have to educate my children on proper literature.”

  


Tom clapped his hands together, inhaling deeply. “If you’re going to educate them, at least watch Space Jam, or play some AC/DC or some shit.”

  


“Do you wanna watch Naruto?”

“Fuck no, put on Ouran Highschool Host Club.”

__

  


“STOP USING ALL THE GODDAMN HAIR GEL”

______

  


Tom was abruptly woken up at about three o’clock in the morning, by the sound of a window crashing. Despite the fact that someone could be breaking into his apartment, Tom didn’t have much motivation to actually get up and try to see what was going on. The brit groaned, rolling on his side, and off the bed.

  


Tom peeled himself off the floor, and shuffled out of his bedroom, grabbing a spare harpoon,  _ just in case _ , and into the living room, where he could see that the window had been smashed in. Glass littered the floor, which meant someone  _ had  _ infact broken in. Usually this would call for concern, apart from the fact that Tord was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking from a mug.

  


The other man, slowly made eye contact with Tom, before taking a long sip of whatever was in the mug he held.

  


“You were out of coffee.” Tord took another sip.

  


Tom dropped the harpoon, in order to hold his head in his hands.

  


_ “So you broke a window?” _

  


Tord laughed. “Hah, no, I walked out to the store across the street and got more coffee.”

  


“The store across the street isn’t open twenty-four hours.”

  


Tord took another sip of his coffee, looking at the floor from the corner of his eye.

  


“So if you  _ somehow  _ managed to walk outside and got coffee from the store across the street,  _ why  _ is the window broken.”

  


“Well,” Tord sipped his coffee. “I left, got my coffee, and then realized I forgot my keys to the apartment. Which meant I had no way to get in.”

“Naturally you scaled  _ six stories  _ with coffee in your hand, broke the window with who knows what-”

“I punched it.” The other man deadpanned.

  


“ _ Punched a window open _ , climbed into the room and made coffee. At three in the fucking morning! You know, like any sane human.”

“Now you're getting it Thomas.”

“Okay yeah, what the hell. And don't you know how to pick locks? I've seen you do it before, you could've just gotten in that way.”

  


Tord took another sip from his mug, regretfully looking directly at Tom, and shrugged.

  


Later, it was discovered that their apartment door wasn't locked, and anyone up at three in the morning could have entered easily.

\---

  


“Delivery for, uhh- Mr. Tord?”

“TORD I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS IS ANOTHER ANIME BODY PILLOW-”

  


\------

  


“Alcohol, alcohol, how I love alcohol, this is the alcohol song.” Tom hummed to himself, plastic bag filled with various liquor, as he walked down the hall to his (and Tord’s) apartment.

  


Tom fiddled with his keys, before coming upon the realization that the door was open and unlocked. It actually looked like someone had kicked it down.

  


Cautiously opening the door, Tom prepared himself to either face Tord doing something ridiculous, or an actual threat.

  


Instead he found more communists.

  


Two men were in his living room, one of which had very large eyebrows and a bandaged face, the other was carrying a very pissed off Tord.

  


One of the men, the one without the big eyebrows, was starting to panic.

  


“Red Leader,  _ please  _ stop trying to murder us. We need you to come back to Base!”

  


Tord didn't respond, too busy hissing and angrily clawing at the offending man's arms.

  


The man with the large eyebrows was the first to acknowledge Tom's presence, eyes widening as they made eye contact.

  


“SCATTER! ABORT! PATRYK LET'S GO!”

  


Patryk(?) looked over at Tom and, still holding Tord with one of his arms, grabbed the other man's hand and ran for the window.

  


Tom stood in place, as the intruders took his frienemy, and shoulder dived out of a six story high window.

  


No noise indicating they hit the ground was heard, instead a helicopter flew away with the three sitting inside.

  


Tom hadn't moved from his position by the door.

  


“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.”

  


\------

  


Tord magically reappeared three days later in Tom’s living room, accompanied by the same men as before.

  


Tord was lying down on the couch, one of his legs crossed over and propped up by the other, reading a hentai magazine.

  


“The guys making out in the corner are Paul and Patryk. They'll be staying with us for a while.”

  


Paul and Patryk were not actually making out in the corner, they were holding hands.

  


“Tord you can't just invite people to live in  _ my  _ apartment!”

“I didn't invite them. Patryk held a gun to my chest and said if I ever snuck out of Base and avoided physical therapy for so long again he would shoot me through the head and take away my coffee privileges. This was our agreement, they live here and “supervise” and I don’t get kidnapped everytime  _ Base sets on fire.” _

  


The last part was said with a little more venom, seemingly directed at Paul and Patryk.

  


Tord settled down a bit, smiling at Tom.

  


“Besides! Edd said it was okay.”

  


\------

  


“TOM HOLY FUCK”

  


Tord kicked the door down, revealing Tom sitting on his bed, looking very done with just about everything.

  


“Tord. What do you want?”

“Paul said he was gonna make pancakes, but Patryk started making out with him before he could get started. And now they’re suggestively kissing in the kitchen and it’s  _ gross  _ and I want some goddamn pancakes.”

“Just go tell them to stop then!”

  


Tord crossed his arms, making a “hmph” sound, and walked out. Tom sighed, and layed down.

  


“TOOOOOOOM! PATRYK FLIPPED ME OFF.”

  


\----

  


Turns out having three communists in his house was beneficial to Tom. It meant that solicitors were absolutely horrified about the idea of coming over to his apartment, because Tord accidentally opened the door to answer one, while still holding one of his very large guns. This also happened as Paul and Pat were starting to get a bit more PG-13 in the background.

  


\---

  


“CAN YOU GUYS STOP BEING GAY, FOR LIKE, FIVE MINUTES?”

  


\--

  


“So why did the Henricks move floors?”

  


Tom was at Edd’s apartment, drinking some Cola on the couch while Edd was drawing.

  


Edd laughed awkwardly. “Matt accidentally dropped a potted plant on their dog.”

“Ah. And what happened to Mrs. Graidon?”

“Tord walked passed her, with a giant gun, then ended up making direct eye contact and holding it for five minutes as he brushed the red paint covering his hands on his hoodie.”

“How do you know it was paint?”

“I  _ don’t _ .”

  


Both men shuddered.

  


“Anyways, now there’s two available rooms on our floor, so you don’t have to room wi-”

“FUCK YEAH!”

  
\-----


End file.
